I’m pressed flat into the mattress, telling myself I have to get out of bed. The shoulds, the musts, the have-to-dos are weighing into me, both dragging me up and smothering me with a pillow.
I’m flat against a wall, pressing my back in to prop myself upright.
I’m lying flat in the bath tub, gratefully submerged in the scalding water. Watching my legs turn pink, gliding my fingertips through. I really should get up, but could I just nap here for a minute or ten years please?
I’m sitting at a crowded table with a flattened expression until everyone starts laughing, and then I laugh too, because apparently someone said something really funny and it’s important to laugh if everyone else is.
But not all days are flat.
The corners of my mouth tug upward into a reflexive smile when I see a sunshine-soaked morning.
We take my baby girl to pick strawberries and she keeps trying to eat her harvest before it even hits the pail, licking a bright red berry and exclaiming, “MMMmmm!”
I put on a twirly skirt because some twirl helps make the day a little more dimensional.
The dog gets a nice long walk because it helps to get outside and breathe on purpose, with just enough effort to recognize how good breathing feels.
I hug my husband with exuberance because he makes my world vibrant.
Cuddles with my baby make me glow, radiant with joy and gratitude.
I can be flattened down but it’s going to take more than the big D to lay me out.